i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
