I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
