PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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