My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
