I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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