the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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