can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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