Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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