Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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