glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize