so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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