And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
