Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
