As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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