i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
