Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
