I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
is that a dick in a sweater?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
