is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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