She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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