How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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