she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
