hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
