even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
