my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize