so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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