sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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