there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
