covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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