Nicole vs. Life
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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