found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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