you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
