On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
