i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
