why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
