I don't think brook has ever known best
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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