At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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