He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
