I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
