I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
