I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
