Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got her a Nickelback box set.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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