Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize