Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
