sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
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