He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
