Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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