I hate your face
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize