Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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