I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
