Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
