explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
