where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize