She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize