I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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