i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
