We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
