My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Shame - the story of my life.
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