Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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