I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
