ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
