and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
