i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
