is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
