brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
