I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
