pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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