ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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