batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
