i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
where are my eyebrows?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
