They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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