I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
