I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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