careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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