I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
