I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
