my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize