Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
