dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Are we still banned from the library?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize