Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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